Welcome back Tiska!I've never tried the pole there....seems to me that would be more of a distraction to the horse than a help!
We've always taught it the simple way - as in starting with simple changes. First, be sure your canter/lope is collected and the horse is flexing with your leg pressure. Break them into a trot at the center of you "8" and ask for the opposite lead. Once they get adept at that, you decrease the trotting steps between changes until you are doing flying changes.
If the horse knows how to do them, but you are having problems, you probably need to look at your own riding skills. A whole lot of things can affect your flying lead changes.
If you aren't balanced, it will make the change more difficult. If you don't have your horse balanced, forget it. Your horse needs to be straight or slightly flexed into the direction you are about to go - if he's still flexed into the direction he is traveling, changing leads is difficult as you are asking him to change into a counter-canter. Your cues need to be precise, not vague. Remember to "set down" into the leg that will become the inside leg. Just signaling with the outside heel isn't enough. Pretend you are bending him to your inside leg. And ALWAYS, as you should do with any cue, let him know before you cue that you're about to ask something of him. Often, this can be done by just picking up on a rein. When I ask for a canter, or lead change, I pick up slightly on the inside rein before I ask for the change of gait. Not only does this tell my horse "hey, we're about to do something" but it also starts getting him bent in the right direction.
If all else fails, have someone watch you who kind of knows what to look for. They may be able to tell you what looks wrong from the ground - are you leaning into the curve? Don't, sit straight and stay balanced. Is your horse over-anticipating? If so, you need to work to counter that habit. Making many, many circles without asking for changes often helps. Never ask for a change unless both you and the horse are ready - otherwise you'll just end up frustrated. Another circle never hurt anyone :)
Good luck-
PH Cody
